Breaking down, up & through

Are you ever wondering how the people you admire, those that seem to have it all together, manage to do that? Does it seem impossible? - Tell you what: those people who seem to have it all together all the time, they’re just like you and me. We all have our breakdowns.

Now you may rightfully be asking: “well, Solveig Caroline, you surely have it all together all the time?! You’re this accomplished young woman with a great physique, no more worries about getting sick and so many other things going for you...”

Here’s my truthful answer: 

No. I don’t have it all together all the time. But I still get to enjoy a lot of things that may look out of reach for many others.

Now, why is that? Certainly not because I am a special person, particularly loved by life. That’s just bogus. And whoever tells you such lies is living in a world of lack and fear and not-enough.

You are just as special as I am. In fact, each one of us is a unique being like no other that has ever existed, never to be copied or recreated. And each one of us is here to experience the most beautiful life we can imagine.

If that’s the case, you may wonder, how can it be that some people seem to have a contract for the sunny side of life, and others simply don’t?

If we all have our breakdowns, what differentiates those that get back up and those that stay in the dumps? - In my mind, it’s the outlook on life, and there are two options: fear and love.

In the fearful mindset, every stumbling stone turns into a nearly insurmountable wall, and life develops a propensity for putting up more and more walls around the person who chooses the fearful mindset - until this person is completely surrounded by walls and cannot find her way out of this prison cell.

In the mindset of love, however, there are also stumbling stones - there are plenty of dissonances that don’t feel so good at first encounter.

The huge difference, though, is as follows: the person with a mindset of love chooses to see all stumbling stones as stepping stones. As a reminder that something isn’t completely right for them in the current set-up, and that it can be tweaked to fit and produce a more enjoyable life experience. This way, the person with a love mindset continues to create possibilities that may look unreachable and outlandish to the unaware bystander.

Let me give you an example from my life:

I’ll keep it easy - let’s talk about food. Now you probably know that I have made progress in leaps and bounds when I introduced green smoothies into my diet. Things really got rolling when my body started to demand ever more greens, and began to balk at anything cooked.

I managed to keep going like that for a few months, but at the price of alienating my friends and family. Even after I allowed myself a bit more leeway in my diet. I found that I don’t do well wanting to a fit a label. Hence I will not insist on eating 100% raw vegan fare. I know I’ll always choose the maximum amount of raw and vegan that I can without stressing myself and that’s just perfect.

Alienating my social circle was greatly aggravating to me, and the diet that I knew was giving me so much energy all the sudden appeared stressful. Because it wasn’t in tune with what my social circle was eating. Despite all the wonderful health benefits of my new way of eating, I went right back to being grumpy and unhappy. That’s what I call a break down.

Something wasn’t working. I also knew that I didn’t want to go back to eating the way everyone else was eating, because I had found this to be hurtful to my body.

What I did need to break up with, though, was the strong connection between food and social gathering.

The break through came when I allowed myself a bit of freedom:

I realized that there are a gazillion other ways to socialize outside of food gatherings: I began to specifically ask friends for non-food activities - going for a walk, watching a movie, playing games, going for a run together. All great fun!

I still end up at food gatherings every once in a while. And that’s no biggie anymore either: I just make sure that my hosts know about my dietary habits and can be sure that I am not out to hurt them by turning down their generous food offerings. So I bring my own food, and bring extra for others to try. I also continually remind myself that I do not need to be eating to be allowed to sit at the table and have engaging conversations with my friends.

I could have just given in and returned to my old ways of eating, with my old digestion issues guaranteed to return. Or I could have turned into a loner, sticking to my food choices and despising myself at the same time for needing to be different. Both choices would have lead me directly into a nasty downward spiral. But I didn’t. I chose to honor my food choices, and to honor my social environment. It meant getting creative in how the two would mix and match, but it was so worth it!

So, while the person choosing fear automatically creates a downward spiral that makes life look worse at every turn, the person choosing love creates an upward spiral that makes life look easy and inspiring.

Now the question is: what’s your choice? Love or fear?

Mine is clear: I choose love. Fully knowing that it’s not always as easy as it looks from the outside. But also fully conscious that each stumbling stone provides a most welcome opportunity to grow and raise my vibration.

Breakdowns are inevitable.

The distinction between a life worth living and one in despair comes with our choices after the breakdown. If we can break up with old patterns that we know will just recreate the breakdown eventually, we can break through this situation into a more loving state of being.

So, when you are in break down mode, ask yourselves three questions:

1. What is the break down?
2. What do I need to break up with to move on?
3. What do I want my life to look like after the break through?

Maybe you want to put little reminder up somewhere in your house, car or office:

“Break down. Break up. Break through.”

You bet I’ve got this programmed into my iPhone.

Love and light,

Solveig Caroline